I know the title for this blog post is very kitschy; it's a song by Ashlee Simpson. I used to love that song, was one of my favorite some years ago. Why I chose it? Because I want to express some feelings.
Last night, I had trouble to keep my tears at bay. My thoughts were with these beautiful photos of Anna and Mike, and every time I take a look at them, I realize that it's what I really want. To be so happy, so in love. Worry-free, I don't want to have worry about money or my reputation. I want to get married someday, have some kids and a house that is just big enough for the family. Maybe a room for my art and a special room for my wife, or a room for our LP love. Bright walls, plants, paintings... everything that represents us. And the longer I think about it, the harder it is for me not to burst out in tears.
I wish I could go to my fiancée and promise her that all of her and our wishes will come true, that I'm able to make our dreams reality. But I can't, I just can't. I don't know how our future will be like and it makes me sad not to know it. Sure, we'll be happy to have each other but what about the rest? I know, I fucking know that we'll be happy and I know that we'll stay together and this fact gives me room to worry about all the details of our dream. And I know for sure that I will destroy it, I will ruin it so that there'll be no chance for our dreams to come true.
And every time I look at a photo of Anna and Mike, I realize that.
Currently listening to: Dead By Sunrise - End of the World
I feel like that too... without the "I know I will destroy this" part. But... I do feel the same, I do since... months now. Have the same with Chester and Talinda but way more with Mike and Anna, I always had.
AntwortenLöschenBut I love you and I know we can achiev everything if we fight for it! And I know we will do that.
Don't be so hard on yourself, no one knows what's ahead in the future, you just have to live life to the fullest every single day, because tomorrow doesn't exist yet but today does. You should be positive, and if you want to have all those things work as hard as you think you can and everything will come out the way you want it :D
AntwortenLöschenMy brother was raised only by his mother, never finished high school and his future wasn't so bright. Right now he has a lot of money, a really beautiful house, two cars and he travels around the world as he pleases, because he worked to get it. So, don't be hard on yourself, if you really want it, fight for it. You have someone special by your side to give you the strength :)