My sins have made me blind

Seriously, there has to be something wrong with my brain. It can't be that whenever I think that someone behaves differently or something is different that it's actually not. That those people tell me that everything's the way it has ever been.
The current thing that I think is different is the way my fiancée behaves towards me, only at the beginning of our conversation. Maybe I always await her too eagerly that, when she's home and I can talk to her, I literally jump on her and pin her on the ground and slam my words into her face. Perhaps it's like that. It usually takes up to half an hour until she behaves the way I know her. Until that happens, her answers are sometimes not longer than 3 words, her reaction to hugs and kisses leave to be desired. And she doesn't answer to my tweets, which is not that much of a problem. I always try to calm myself down by saying "She's just exhausted from work, it has surely nothing to do with you." And perhaps that's right. But there's always some room for the masochistic, doubtful and scared side of yourself, that imagines what else could be the reason for that different behavior. That scares you with its theories about her behavior.
But luckily, my heart doesn't believe in those theories and it's strong enough to fight against the dark side and say, "Everything's okay." Because that's what it is; everything's alright, maybe the circumstances aren't the best and they'll kill us some day but until then, there's a lot of time to change them and until then, we do our best to make our relationship as enjoyable as possible. For sure, there are times when it's hard and the idea of breaking up comes into my (maybe hers, too) head but it gets destroyed immediately; living without her is no option for me, and breaking up only because of the distance is stupid, since it actually works perfectly.
We know that there'll be a time when everything will be the way we want it to be, and maybe spending the time until then together only makes our love stronger. To know that some day, we will have our own home, that we'll only need to buy everything once, that we'll be able to sleep in one bed every night; it all makes the wait and the good and bad times worth it, the fighting for this day to come makes it worth it. It's all that I want, a life with the woman I love, to see her happy, to have her around every day, to have a family with her until forever ends.


And now, I think some writing has to be done. ;) Started a new story a few nights ago, it's another songfiction but this time it's an old, very old actually, song by a german singer. I won't say which song.

But here's a preview (it's unbeta'd):

And outside, the streets were silent, a sleeping neighborhood. Darkness surrounding the houses, a cold breeze dancing with the wind. It could've been early in the morning rather than a late Sunday evening. A rustling in the trees that were lined up on each side of the street, their limbs and twigs moving along with the wind. It was so silent, you could've thought this neighborhood was lifeless. No lights guiding the way down the street, no signs showing the avenue's name. If you wanted to, you could've walked down the street, and walked, and walked until you would reach the end on which you would find a crossroad, one way leading outside the suburb. One leading to the town's heart, the other leading to the suburb's downtown; it would be up to you, whether to choose the way to nowhere or the way to the town's center.

Current song: Sin by Stone Temple Pilots