Beware! Criminal!

Either, I'm holding on that feeling or I... I'm losing track? Or my mind is reducing something important. Maybe its connection to my heart, shortening it to a length that can't be even called length. I don't know. Who am I supposed to be if I knew it? Well, I can tell how it feels. It feels weird. Ever been something between "not-so-sober-anymore" and almost drunken? And what it feels like the day after? It feels so numb. Like living in a dream, like living in a surreal world, miles and miles away from reality. It doesn't even feel like living, more like floating. Or only existing.
Anyways, I love this feeling of floating or only existing. Nothing wrong with that but to get this beloved feeling, I got to get almost drunk. And because I love that feeling, I don't mind drinking. But I should.
Anyways, anyways, I'm feeling kind of like that. Kind of numb, kind of limb. Something between becoming unconscious and being conscious. Cut it short: something scary and weird.
It scares me so much, I'm on my way to become an alcoholic and I don't really care to change it. It sucks.
Well, anyways, I should get something to eat.